BROOKLYN SPOOKY WHODUNNIT: OTW LOCAL NEWS EDITION
So, a goat head turned up in Prospect Park over the weekend.
Gothamist seems to think not just Thelemites but rude Thelemites are responsible, like the kind of Brooklyn Thelemites who don’t even compost right and bring their babies to bars in strollers and go the fuck OFF about do what thou wilt to anyone who so much as side-eyes and go on long rambling diatribes about hip-hop and redheads. The kind who ear-tag their probably-organic locally-sourced goat heads 93. Does this hold water?
Ooooor is it fledgling young-person-social-club Witches of Bushwick? Sure, they’re mostly just hanging out and getting headscratchy write-ups in the NYT, but are they trying to kill two goats with one silver knife by snatching a bit of IRL witch cred and fucking with a vastly superior part of Brooklyn all at once? Who’s to say?
It’s worth noting a goat’s head turned up about 4 years ago in a bag or a wax ball or something. Is it coincidence that four years of unprecedented skyrocketing Brooklyn rents are bookended by goat heads? You decide!
Brooklyn native yours truly goes on the record Girl Scout swearing I didn’t do SHIT!
Also, for my money, it’s a friendly neighborhood Santeria practitioner consulting on viral marketing for a new occult-themed development on Park Place and Bedford Ave. 1-bedrooms starting at $2100, geometric wall-art and wolf skulls pre-installed, shared roof deck. Free silver-plated midi rings with lease signing. Open and shut, people.
Now that that’s been good and solved, let’s check in on everyone’s goatseasons. How are y’all doing in this difficult pre-spring time? Holding together? I hope so. Spring’ll be here before you know it.
toil and TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE,